Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Short Essay On Valentine's Day, Stigmata & Burn Marks Near My Butthole

Valentine's day is almost over and I sit here at the computer, munching on my freshly nuked Cheeseburger Lean Pocket, glowing from all of the days great memories.

First, there was house cleaning.

Followed by... more house cleaning.

I kicked it up a level by going to the pool store and buying lots of chlorine to stick in my pool (since my next two weekends will be spent filming BDSM porn and not cleaning my pool).

Just when you think things couldn't get more fabulously exciting... I did laundry!!! (Oh, how my heart leaps at memories of the fresh Downy scent filling the air.)

Feeling a contact high from the April Fresh Downy, I decided to go completely crazy and DO SOME MORE HOUSE CLEANING!!!! (I know you're jealous of me at this point but I can't help it if the Valentine's Day of a Porn Star is just so much better than yours.)

I was completely spent after that last super-fun activity and settled back into my computer chair to eat a Valentine's Day dinner that would make even the Top Chef's in Paris squirm with delight! Yes... Cheeseburger Lean Pockets with ketchup and my favorite drink (Chocolate Soy Milk & Coconut Rum). Honestly, does life get any better than this?

While I was typing this envy inducing post I noticed a folder with photos from the Atlantis Cruise that I went on a couple of weeks ago. Truth be told, I can't post half of them for fear of being called either a total whore or a total bore. But I did want to post a photo of my Atlantis White Party outfit (See above photo). Hours of painstaking work went into it's creation. In fact, I still have burn marks near my butthole from the hot glue gun and small stigmata-like holes in the palms of my hands from the Bedazzler. But I think you'll agree it was worth it in the end!

I hope everyone had as fabulous and romantic a Valentine's Day as I did!


Y said...

Great pic but it would be greater if you`d bent over:)lol

Be jealous Nick,my Valentine`s Day was even "better":)

alan923 said...

Nick: the mental image of you doing housework and laundry is hugely erotic. Great photo, maybe see you on a future atlantis cruise.

Tom said...

Oh, that is OUTSTANDING attire, sir! You wear a jock well (and I tend to prefer briefs, so that's saying something here) -- and I love footwear, I wanna nibble you from head to ankles. :)

Stan said...

Sounds like my Valentine's Day was just as exciting

Anonymous said...

What, you have to do all your house cleaning on your own.. Can't you get a slave (like me) to come and do it for you.. My fee is zero$$ - but I do ask for a sex break along the way


Anonymous said...

Do I see a pizza in that picture??? You're on a gay cruise and eating CARBS? How did you sneak that back to your cabin wearing only a jockstrap?

Nick Moretti said...

Swayzee: Yup... it's pizza! I eat like a PIG on those cruises. After dancing your ass off for hours at a time carbs are your best friend. I usually stock up on food in the room before the night starts and then take a break from the party every now and the to eat. Pizza, cookies, cake, sandwiches... Like a pig!