Monday, November 30, 2009

Flying the Coop and a load of poop

Finally out of the nest and into the real world.

It's been a rough couple of days.

I could write about how yesterday was the White Party Beach Party (an awesome event I haven't missed in years) and how I didn't go because I wasn't in a happy mood and really couldn't afford it.

I could write about how I got really sick and spent the whole night exploding from both ends. Puke and poop... puke and poop... all night! Ugh.

I could write about how I just got back from the MRI place where I had many novocaine needles stuck in my shoulder to make it less painful when they put a big ole needle into the joint between my arm and shoulder and pumped it full of liquid dye that would show up on the MRI. And then I spent an hour and a half in the MRI coffin. And that now my shoulder hurts like hell and also feels that it is completely dislocated.

I could write about how I'm feeling alone and disconnected from the world around me.

Or I could write about how one of my baby birds has finally left the nest. Tentatively, at first. It just kinda hopped out onto the branch in front of the nest. Then it took a short and jerky flight to the mess of plants that sits on the other side of the cage. It spent a long while there just checking out the world outside the nest. Birds would come over and check him out and he showed no fear at all. I guess it's doesn't know about hurt and fear and pain having been protected and nurtured in the nest by it's parents. The simple joy of innocence, where the world seems magical and nothing seems harmful.

Of course, I was a nervous wreck for the fragile little bird. What if it fell the long distance to the hard cage floor and snapped its neck? What if one of the bigger birds decided to show its dominance over it and pecked it to death? What if its parents abandoned it before it was ready to be on its own?

But none of that happened. Its legs got steadier as it perched and its flight got stronger and more controlled. It mingled nicely with the other birds. Its parents kept checking on it and it finally found it's way back to its nest and its sibling when it was time to take a nap.

I guess I worried for nothing. I need to remember that and apply that to myself right now. My legs will steady themselves again. I will find my way back home where I belong again. And, hopefully, I will fly again.
Making new friends already.

Dad (on the bottom with the little black marking under it's eyes) and Mom (on the top) keep checking on the little baby. It's beak is still black so you can't tell if it's a boy or girl yet. Males have a deep red beak and females have a lighter, orange beak. Gay ones have lavender beaks of course.

Friday, November 27, 2009


I've had a rough couple of days leading to Thanksgiving day. It had me wondering what the heck I have to be thankful for.

First, the shoulder that I just had surgery on is screwed up again. Not only that, but the other shoulder is even worse than the first one. I went to the Orthopedic Surgeon again and he checked them out. It doesn't look good. I'm scheduled for 2 MRI's on Monday. One of them involves inserting a large needle into the socket, between the shoulder and by arm, and filling the cavity with an entire bag of saline with some traceable dye in it. I've had this done before. It hurts. Then it's an hour in the MRI coffin for that shoulder, followed by another hour in the MRI coffin for the other shoulder. Oh... and the cost of 2 MRI's.

Next, Fishy died. He went from happy and hungry to dead in the course of a day. I really liked him.

Next, I had to deal with some legal matters lingering from my old job separation and the Unemployment Department. My old company fucking sucks! 20 fucking years I worked there and put up with their crap. I worked with abusive managers, lunatic coworkers in an environment that was hostile and depressing. I spent the last couple of years watching as they declared bankruptcy, layed off 2/3rds of the staff and had the rest of the staff absorb the work. The staff that was left was bitter and paranoid and turned to backstabbing and fighting as their way to deal with it. I basically hid in my cubicle and tried not to be the target of any of this. I spent the last months training the guy who I knew would be taking my place at a greatly reduced salary. I had my box of personal belongings packed and under my desk months ago; ready for when the axe would finally fall. I knew it would happen when I was on vacation. That's what my chicken-shit company used to do. And the guy I trained is now doing my work. He's actually a good friend, so I'm not mad at him. I told him repeatedly during the last months of working together that this is exactly what was going to happen and I don't think he believed me. The whole thing has made me so bitter, angry and hateful. NOT something that I'm comfortable with. I strive to be centered, loving and accepting in my life. This feeling makes me feel sick.

Then one of the shoots I was scheduled to do during my upcoming San Francisco trip was canceled. Ugh. I needed that money.

Finally, it was time for Thanksgiving. A time to spend sharing loving time with your family. Well, I don't have a family and when I did there were never any loving memories. Hate and abuse. Those are the family memories I have. No nice turkey dinners with family in a warm, loving house. Instead I had screaming and fighting and bruises and police. So the thought of Thanksgiving made me feel alone and sad.

So what to do?

I sucked it up. I pulled back inside, remembered what was important and I breathed.

First, I went out and got the fixings for a great Italian lasagna and spent the day making one.

Then, I spent some time with my dog and my birds and was happy to find out that there is more than one baby bird in the nest! There are at least two.

And when Thanksgiving day came around, I put on my "Don't Hate Meditate" Hello Kitty shirt, grabbed my lasagna and Joe, and headed over to my friend Jonathan's house and spent the day with my friends.

It was just what I needed. We drank and laughed and ate like pigs. Tim's birthday is today, the day after Thanksgiving, so we had a cake with a candle for every year he's been alive. You could see the glow of the candles from space!

Time to focus on the good things.

1. I can handle whatever comes my way. Always have, always will.

2. I'm intelligent, hard working, and responsible. I'm making money from the freelance web design work I'm doing and I have two porn shoots coming up to supplement that.

3. I will finally start receiving my unemployment.

4. I have an awesome dog and some great birds... complete with new babies.

5. Beta fish are very cheap and, although he won't be the original Fishy, I can get another one.

6. Someone very nice gave me some very beautiful flowers.

7. I have friends. Crazy, dysfunctional, pain in the ass friends. Thank God for them.

8. I looked pretty freakin good in my "Don't Hate... Meditate" shirt!

So I guess I choose to be thankful instead of bitter and hateful.

Here are some photos of everything I just posted about.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Men in cages are popular!

Fridays "Community Encaged" photography exhibit by Sylvester Q during Wilton Manor's Island City Art Walk was a great success! Some of the models were dressed... undressed very sexy and sold raffle tickets for great prizes, with the proceeds going to Equality Florida.

I finally got the chance to meet porn star Chad Brock. (See photo above with Chad Brock, Sylvester Q, and me.)
What a hot and nice man. He lives locally so I hope to hang out with him at some point.

Here are a few shots I took of some of the photos I'm in. It's hard to photograph and photograph that's framed and in glass so the quality is not great. Or you could blame it on the free tequila that the Ramrod bar donated. (Sidenote: Tequila and Peach Schnapps is an AWESOME combination!) I hope to get copies of the real photos from the shoot from Sylvester Q and post them soon.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


I've been keeping my lips shut tight (not something you'd expect from a Porn Star... I know). After the first two disastrous attempts at breeding finches I tried not to get too excited when I came back from San Francisco a few weeks ago and found that my white Zebra Finches had taken to the nest again.

It too all the strength I had not to try to take a peek inside the nest while the zebra finches were out of it. I really wanted to know if there were eggs in it or not. But, on the other hand, I didn't want to make any disturbances that would scare them and make them abandon the possible babies... again.

Weeks went by and the male and female Zebra Finches took turns in the nest. I guess if there were babies in there they were taking care of them. But there was no little chirping or movement coming from the nest.

Until this weekend!

While watching the mother in the nest I thought I saw a little grey thing move in front of her. I was almost certain it was a baby. Then today I came home and there it was! A little baby was poking it's head up out of the nest. It already has some feathers on it and it is pretty active. (See the photo above.)

I'm not sure if there is more than one in there but I'm happy as heck right now. I think this one is actually going to make it!
Apparently, it was a big week for having babies. Tim also had one this week. Only his was a little bigger and a lot louder. Little Trudi is the cutest little pig you'd ever want to see. I have to say there is actually a resemblance between the pig and her daddy. (See the photo to the left.) But then again, I guess most pigs look alike. LOL!!!

Hope everyone had a GREAT weekend!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Kain Warn's Birthday Party

Here are some photos from an awesome birthday party I went to for porn hottie Kain Warn.

It was a Scooby Doo themed party and there where Scooby decorations everyhere. Apparently Kain's nickname is "Scrappy". I don't know about that... I just think he's HOT!

Tucker Forrest was also in attendance wearing some cute puppy ears to match Kain's. I met Tucker on stage at the Folsom Street Fair. Since I was kinda tied up... literally, I didnt get to talk to him much. He turned out to be a pretty cool guy. You can check him out here.

There was lots of really good "BAD" food like hot chicken wings, mac and cheese, nacho cheese & beef dip... you get the idea and lots of free flowing alcohol.

Everyone played these drinking games called Beer Pong and Flip Cup. I grew up in Brooklyn and we didn't have those games back there. I guess the point was to basically get really, really drunk. And everyone did. Really, really drunk. Kain kicked ass in Beer Pong, by the way. The games ended when the drunkest of the guys, after receiving many bite marks on his cute ass, took a swan dive on the table and demolished it.

Next it was cake time. Someone brought out an awesome Scobby Doo cake, complete with the Mystery Machine and all. As you can tell by the pictures, it all went to hell after that and Kain ended up wearing most of the cake.

What a great day with a great bunch of guys! I wish I would have been able to drink more and get involved with more of the fun, but I had to get home and do some work.

Don't forget...
Tonight from 7-10pm photographer Sylvester Q will be debuting his new exhibit "Community Encaged" at Marks Haircuts for Men during Wilton Manor's Island City Art Walk. Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Encaged for Equaility

This Friday, November 20th, from 7-10pm photographer Sylvester Q will be debuting his new exhibit "Community Encaged" at Marks Haircuts for Men during Wilton Manor's Island City Art Walk.

What sets this exhibit apart from the rest?

First, it's a charity fundraiser for Equality Florida.

Second, there will be free drinks provided by The Ramrod bar.

Third: models from the photographs will be there to meet and greet the attendees. (I'm one of them!)

The Artwalk is usually a huge success and a lot of fun as everyone gets to view lots of local artists work while strolling down Wilton Drive with a free cocktail in hand and sampling free appetizers.

This time it will be even better because the weather is just PERFECT this time of year, the tourists have started to funnel down to Fort Lauderdale for the winter and holiday seasons, there is a charity event that will help our community, and I will be there!!! LOL

Hope to see you guys there!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sleeping with a princess

So I like to make my dog Cynder look pretty sometimes. Hair ribbons, scarfs, some booties, a pearl necklace (No... not that kind!) a little tiara. Does that make me really, really gay?

I don't give a fuck. All I know is that I feel like I'm snuggling with a little princess every night. Even with her loud snoring, farting, poop breath, cataracts, and three remaining teeth. She will always be my little princess. She's about 11 years old now and I appreciate every minute I have left with her.

See... Nick Moretti is NOT surrounded by dead animals!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Two thumbs up... my butt

With my Butt Machine Boys shoot less than a month away my attention has been directed towards my butt.

I've never been a big fan of my butt. It used to be kind of flat. So flat that I used to joke that I had an "innie". I've been working out since my early 20s but I never really spent much time on my butt. Since I've always been predominantly a top I really didn't care that much about how it looked.

But then about 5 years back, after my first shoulder surgery, I started working out properly. I didn't want to injure my shoulder again. So I started working out with the goal being to have my body muscular, lean, and in proportion. That means that my butt needed to look as good as I was trying to make the rest of me look. And it worked!

I'm not saying that I have the most amazing butt on the planet... but I wouldn't kick it out of bed. And if I pose just right it looks pretty good for the camera. It's more of a "muscle butt" than a "bubble butt", but at least it's not an "innie" any more.

So the next few weeks I will be doing heavy squats and other torturous leg and butt exercises at the gym to, hopefully, try and take my butt to the next level. I mean, it's going to be the focus of attention for an entire video!

I also need to practice for the butt machines. I don't play with toys at home and things very rarely go up my butt. So getting pounded by a giant dildo strapped to a giant, thrusting, machine is not exactly in my comfort range... yet.

The next few weeks are going to be interesting. I just hope they don't turn out to be nothing more than a pain in my ass. I guess what I'm looking for is two thumbs up!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Frost cums early this year

I just got done talking with the guys at and it looks like I'm set for another Bound Gods shoot and also a shoot for Butt Machine Boys in early December. AWESOME!!!

My scene partner for Bound Gods will be Shane Frost (see photo.) I think that should work! You can check out a youtube video he did by clicking here. I wonder what kind of hot scene Van Darkholme has planned for us. Can't wait!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Web work, trimmed bushes, and Johnny Hazzard

It's been a few days since I've posted anything. SORRY!

Life has been so freakin' busy since I lost my job. I've decided to take my web design skills to the next level so I started taking a very advanced course in Dreamweaver CS4 and learning some pretty complicated stuff. It was going great... and then I got a freelance project. So about half way through the course I start working on this major real estate website. I WAS LOST!!!

Today, after a full week of struggling through it, I finally met with the guy who contracted me and nervously showed him my work so far. He was really happy with it! I guess we are always our worst critics. His thumbs up gave me a pretty big confidence boost and he also gave me another website to build for an awesome dentist.

Now that my income is virtually nothing... my house has been falling apart around me. The pool pump broke, as did the garbage disposal, the garage door opener and the sprinkler system. I've been trying to fix or replace everything myself but it's complicated, time consuming and expensive! In an effort to make a little less work for myself, I cut my ficus hedges (which were now about 8 feet tall!) to the ground. The 100 degree heat was a big help in the process. Ugh.

I took a break from all my work on Saturday night and hung out with Tim and Matt and some other friends at a leather party at Voodoo Lounge. I was happy to see Johnny Hazzard hanging out at the bar when I walked in and it turned out he was performing in the show. I've always had a huge crush on Johnny ever since I met him in Ptown about 5 years ago and I was lucky enough to hang out with him at the wrap party for Blue Movie. He is as nice as he is sexy and rumor has it he kisses really, really well.

The show was pretty hot, even though Johnny stayed fully clothed the whole time! (See photo above.) We were all pretty drunk by that point and I was trying to get Tim and Matt to rush the stage with me and rip his clothes off. Thank God they didn't go for it. Johnny came back around after the show and we ragged on him for not stripping. He assured us that the second show would be a lot hotter and he would be stripping down. Unfortunately, the tequila got the best of us and we never made it to the second show.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Nothing beats a big Italian sausage!

Someone sent this photo they took of me on Halloween to my cell phone last night. Why am I allowed to go out in public again?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I'm back on Bound Gods!

The Slaughterhouse: Part One
The Head Butcher

I'm proud to announce that Bound Gods has released the video that I filmed during the Folsom Fair. It marks my return after a fairly long absence from the porn world due to the surgeries on my hand and shoulder. I hope the viewers like it!!!

I've posted to trailer above and you can check it out at by clicking here.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Bound Gods with Gianni Lucca

Getting back my Los Angeles and San Francisco trip...

I took a 6:30am flight from LA to San Francisco, grabbed a cab to The Armory building, unpacked my bags, did some personal grooming, some meditating, some masterbat... ummm... some preparation for my Bound Gods shoot, and before you know it... it was showtime.

This is what I was originally wearing for the shoot. When Van saw it he didn't think it fit tight enough so he sent for the Slick it up gear. We played Slick it up dress up for about a half hour until Van was satisfied. I LOVE that gear so it's not like I was suffering!
My scene partner, Gianni Lucca, was cute as fuck. I don't think he had any idea what he was in for.

As usual, the set was creepy as hell. I can only imagine what was going through Gianni's mide when he looked around.

It was a really aggressive shoot. Meaning that Van worked our asses off! He really want's to take each shoot to a new level and it is a LOT OF WORK!!! At one point I climbed up Giaani's body which was suspended by metal pipes that were mounted to the wall, so that I could fuck his helpless, spider-gagged mouth. That scene ended with me slipping on the drool that was coming from his mouth and falling a very large distance to the hard floor. A LOT OF WORK!!!

But I really do think that the shoot will be something great and Gianni did an awesome job and took it like a man. I guess it worked for both of us because we both had HUGE cumshots to finish up the day. I'm really looking forward to seeing the way this Bound Gods video turned out!