Saturday, December 5, 2009

What the fuck did I do to the TSA?

I spend yesterday flying from Fort Lauderdale to San Francisco with a stop over in Dallas. I usually like flying, but this was a really weird trip. Airports were packed, flights were all delayed and messed up, and people were bizarre.

My head was down in my computer working for most of the trip but I had to keep picking it up to see the madness unfolding around me.

This one cool black chick from "the islands" told me that she was heading to San Francisco to fuck and told me that chocolate was her viagra. She then proceeded to eat a ton of it. When I complained that my leg was stiff an evil smile came over her face and she said, "Bring that over here... I could use something stiff." Nice! I think I love her.

Of course, her hotness level went down a notch when she said she was going to take a nap, pulled out a canvas sack, and pulled it over her head. It looked just like my just released Bound Gods shoot!

I got back to the Armory and opened my bag and WHAT THE FUCK!!! The TSA did it again! They went through my bag and left a lovely little note saying it was a random search. Why is it ALWAYS my bag? Am I on some bad packer hit list?

This time there was a little surprise sitting right on top of the note. Apparently, they looked in the bottom of my boot, found my dildo, and thought it would be cute to leave it on top of my bag so that I know that they know I have one. I guess they stopped at that because the butt plug and prostate thingie were still in there boot. Ugh. I hope they didn't use the dildo! Guess I better wash it off just in case.
What would a post about my trip be without a picure of me peeing in the plane toilet? Here it is!

Well, after a night of hanging with my friends Conner Habib, Alessio Romero, JR Matthews, Arron, Jessie and Sister Roma and drinking WAY to much, I'm sitting here in my chilly room at the Armory listening to the chick in the next room talking on the phone to her girlfriend and thinking about how I need to get my ass out of bed and to the gym. Three shoots this week... this old man has to look good!


Unknown said...

Very sexy Nick love the pic can't wait to see more.

Jambrea said...

Good call on washing the dildo. lol Glad you got there safe, if not sound. lol

You look good all the time, I don't think you have any worries. :)

Damien said...

Nice piss pic - when are you going to do some full on piss films mate?

Stan said...

Great post Nick! Your too much guy!

Anonymous said...

Some travel advice from an one with tons of travel experience. I always pack personal items in clear plastic baggies so the TSA folks can see them without touching them [ew]. This includes my underware, drugs, toothbrush, etc., and would include my dildos, butt plugs and prostate thingies if ever I traveled with any of those. Just sayin'. It was really nice of them to leave you a note. They have never left me one; I just find my shit all messed up in the bag.

I can't imagine finding myself on a flight seated next to you! What a dream come true that would be!!!

Anonymous said...

See, that is the problem...
you tried to hide your dildo in your boot and they saw it on the scanner - it is suspicious activity, and they check what it is. Just leave it in the top pocket of your baggage and they will see it.

TSA has countless stories about the stuff they find in backpacks.

Bjp said...

nick i need something stiff, come see me in miami, lol