Tuesday, August 4, 2009

No cock? NO WAY!

I don't usually go to Chinese restaurants because I'm allergic to MSG. Really. I explode from every orifice in my body. Get the chills and the sweats at the same time. Have excruciating stomach pain and an unbearable headache. My lips crack and bleed and I get fever sores in my mouth for weeks afterwards. NOT PRETTY! (God this post is starting off gross... hang in there though... I promise it will get better.)

I found this on my paper placemat yesterday at a local Chinese restaurant (that does not cook with MSG).

It was a list of all the Chinese signs with descriptions of each one. Mine seemed to fit perfectly. Well... almost.

I've always been very lucky. I'm an artist. I've been told I'm articulate. I'm very affectionate and shy. I am constantly striving to find peace in my life through meditation, or church, or pets. And heck... I'll marry a Sheep or a Boar or any other warm blooded creature at this point as long as they are honest, loyal, and connect with me.

So I was good with it all until I got to the last line...
"Your opposite is the Cock."
WHAT THE FUCK!

I've always had a good relationship with the Cock. Mine or others. Some of my best times have involved the Cock.

I think I'm going to just white out that section of the description and carry on my happy relationship with the Cock. Why fix it if it ain't broke?

Sorry if I've been mentioning the "Vote for me at Cybersocket" stuff in every post but I would really like to be nominated! So if you like what you read here PLEASE scroll down and click through to Cybersocket and vote for me in any category (especially Best Blog and Best Porn Star Website). Thanks!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL That is very funny, Nick! You do have a way with words!
I was born in 63, so I am the same! Including a great relatinship with the Cock!

Nick Moretti said...

Anonymous...
63?
Me born in 1963?
I'm born in 1975.
Right... I wish! LOL

Stan said...

My Zodiac year is "Rabbit" too but there's no way I'm going to stay away from Cock either! Not after all this time of being addicted to it.

Anonymous said...

Isn't there a saying: Opposites attract.

Samaranx

Sue said...

I am the year of the monkey. :\ I don't like my sign at all. But at least we are compatable with the COCK! ;)

Pick said...

Hmmm ... Rats and Cock seem to be ok too. PHEW!

Honesty, loyalty and connection - totally agree but it seems to be a tall order in these days of entitlement.

blacknoon said...

I was born in 63 year too! And I love cock!

Raul/Miami said...

My sister will be happy to know someone else has an MSG allergy, but hers are not as bad. What restaurant is this? She lives in Broward