Sunday, August 9, 2009

Birds on poppers!

Loyal readers will remember that I announced that I was going to be a father a few weeks ago. Actually, a pair of my finches had layed an egg and I was patiently awaiting the pitter-patter-flutter of little feet and wings. Well the egg was a dud. Not surprising at all since the birds are young and it was their first attempt at breeding.

So for the past couple of weeks I've been anxiously waiting to see a little "If this nest is a rockin don't come a knockin" sign hanging outside the nest that they pimped out so nicely and to hear sweet birdie love making sounds. But nothing. So I asked around and did some research. How do I get the birds to fuck?

I tried finding some "Birdie Porn", but except for that disturbing "Chicken George" video from England where the skinny, white English dude fucks a chicken (I SWEAR! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!!!) I had no luck. I thought maybe Ravel did a birdie version of Bolero... Birdero? That would certainly put them in the mood. But no luck.

So I said, "What the fuck!" and switched out the water in their water dishes for "Jungle Juice Platinun Poppers". After an initial swoon, the birds started fucking like crazy! Unfortunately, most of them turned out to be bottoms, but I think there were enough tops that rose to the occasion and got the job done.

Of course, I'm kidding. I wouldn't waste my poppers on the birds. That shit is fucking expensive! What I did do was shake things up in their world. I bought a pair of Spice Finches and added them to the mix, moved the nests around and provided lots more nesting material. After two days of pecking, puffing up, and screeching, the birds established a new pecking order and things have taken a very positive turn. The white Zebra finches who previously produced the rotten egg were kicked out of their nest by the two smallest and meekest finches. The white Zebra finches, apparently embarrassed to show their beaks around their old neighborhood, found a nest on the other side of the cage and promptly started to pimp that out.

So if things go right I should have some baby birds in the near future. I hope so. My biological clock is ticking louder and louder every day, you know.

I wanted to clear up a little confusion that resulted from my previous post.

When I talked about being in the process of getting over someone I had just dated who treated me badly I was NOT talking about my ex. The ex I mention frequently, and who is supposed to fly up to P-town next week for a couple of days, is NOT the abusive one. He's got his quirks, but being abusive is definitely NOT one of them. All together we dated for about 8 years. (If you don't count the 174 break-ups we had during that time. Hey... it's a gay relationship!) He is really a sweet guy and would never hurt a fly.

And as for looking for a meditation class...
I have been meditating regularly on my own and do find that very beneficial and centering. However, I spend a lot of time alone. A LOT. I need to be around people sometimes. And I think it's probably a good idea being around like-minded people. People who are trying to take their lives in a more spiritual, peaceful and productive direction. So that's why I'm trying to find a solid meditation class with a good group of people.

Oh... GO FUCKING VOTE FOR MY BLOG!!! (If you haven't already.)
Click over to the Cybersocket Awards nomination page and vote for this blog in the Best Adult Blog category. I mean, where else can you read about bird porn, heavy-duty BDSM, gross surgeries and poignant, introspective reflections from a gay porn star?
AND... while you're at it vote for my website ( for the Best Porn Star Site. No other free porn star website has more FREE XXX Photos and FREE XXX Video samples. NO ONE!


Pick said...

I got a big kick out of today's post ... brightened my day. Thanks!

blacknoon said...

Hey Nick, I see your birds are turning into a little soap opera. Please keep us posted.

Also, I did vote for too. And I noticed that your blog is up on another site for a vote and I voted for you too. You can find it here:

Where is P-Town?!

Stan said...

P-town is short for Province town Massachusetts out on Cape Cod. A very beautiful place if I may say so.
Good luck with the bird thing Nick. I spend a lot of time alone too but it doesn't seem to both me as I am a socially dysfunctional, neurotic person anyway.

Jim said...

Consider yourself voted IS a GREAT blog...just started reading it today...followed a link from Stan's site :)

Sue said...

I am hooked on this song bird soap opera! Who is with whom, and so forth! So hot!