(Note: This post has been heavily edited so that certain people won't feel bad.)First, here is the traditional picture of me in my birthday suit. (Damn I wish my chest hair would grow faster and I can't wait to start back at the gym!)


I've been growing my beard out for a couple of weeks but finally shaved last night because I wanted to start my new year out clean and fresh.
So today is my 46th birthday. I can't say it's a happy one. I'm back at my desk after a long eventful weekend. Unfortunately, it ended badly. Very badly. I wrote a whole long, well written post detailing my whole weekend, filled with lots of irony and angst, but I'm not going to post that. I've been trying to keep my personal life... personal. I've been hurt enough and I'm not trying to hurt anyone else. Even if he hurt me very, very badly. So this is all I'm going to say about my weekend...
Thursday night went to a much needed meditation class at the Drolma Buddhist Center.
Friday, I gayed up the bird cage with lots of plants. It's really beautiful now. I had a nice dinner with my good photographer friend Howard (Sylvester Q) and then ran into Ty LeBouf, who was visiting for the weekend. He is such a sweet and fun guy. I couldn't stay out for more than a half hour because my shoulder was killing me.
Saturday, the 4th of July, I went to the beach for a bit (first time in over a year) and then went to see the fireworks at the beach near my house at night. AWESOME!!!

Sunday was the grand opening of a new club on Fort Lauderdale beach that will host an Alegria party every now and then. This was the first party and I was not sure I was going to go due to my shoulder. But, hey, it was my birthday evening and I wanted to go out, have fun, and celebrate.
The night started out great. The place was beautiful and I danced with my friends. It all went downhill really quickly though when someone that I had cared for did some really crappy things to me. I spent midnight alone because I couldn't find my friends.
What a great birthday. Ugh. I took a Lunesta and went to bed. I had to work in the morning. Oh... and I have a nice bruise on my back.

I woke up this morning feeling very sad. But the universe has been trying to cheer me up. My birds were happy and singing as I got ready for work. Beautiful, fragrant Jasmine greeted me as I stepped out of my door. A huge Hibiscus flower waited for me as I stepped into my truck. I drove to work listening to NPR and trying not to obsess about the night. But, of course, I did.

I'm sitting at my desk at work now feeling really bad about what happened. Feeling hurt that this guy hurt me again. That he didn't even own up to it. That I trusted him again. Maybe this year I'll actually grow up and learn how to not set myself up for heartache. Thank God for birthdays and new beginnings. So... here's to 46 and a happy new year for me. Hopefully filled with peace, love and happiness.