Monday, November 3, 2008


I have to thank everyone for the really nice messages of concern about my break-up. It really means a lot to me. After working on building something for 8 years, to have to let it go is... hard. Especially at night. I miss having someone to hold. It makes it even harder that it ended so badly. Betrayal is never easy to deal with. Especially when it comes from someone who was your world. I feel ungrounded. But I guess you have to be ungrounded if you want to fly.

I know I will be OK. I'm just waiting for my heart to start beating again. I have some good friends, a great dog and I have a life that I love. I keep listening to the song "So what?" from Pink and substituting the words "Porn Star" for "Rock Star". At least it makes me laugh.

From the song So What by Pink...

"I guess i just lost my husband
I don’t know where he went
So i’m gonna drink my money
I’m not gonna pay his rent (Nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And i’m gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight

You weren't fair
You never were

You want it all but that's not fair

I gave you life

I gave my all

You weren't there, you let me fall

So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves

And I don't need you

And guess what

I'm havin more fun

And now that were done

I'm gona show you tonight

I'm alright

I'm just fine

And you're a tool so

So what

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't want you tonight"

I will be alright. I'll be just fine.

Thanks again for your thoughts. I promise the next post will be more upbeat. After all, life is to short to waste it on the bad stuff. Time to move on to the good stuff.

(Photo by Greg Lindeblom/GLiMPSe visual. (January 2007)


Y said...

Yeah,this is how we want our Nick.Ready to fly again!
I`m so glad you feel better.And I`m sure there`s someone out there waiting for you to give you all his love!In the meantime enjoy the love of your friends and fans:)

Much love

P.S.Love the pic.

Frank said...

Big hugs to you Nick.
Your heart will be beating again in no time just don't rush into anything right away.BTW great pic!

Unknown said...

My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine starting over after 8 years, but you're right - take care of you and let your heart heal. I'm doing the same thing right ex broke up with me due to recently finding out he is hiv positive. it's hard but maybe space is the best for everyone sometimes. don't you wish that you can sometimes just turn love off like a light switch?