Thursday, September 3, 2009

Please stick a buck in my crack

WARNING: This a shameless plug for my special appearance in the cage at the RAMROD bar here is Fort Lauderdale this Saturday night.

You are officially invited to stop by the RAMROD bar this Saturday night and stick a buck, or two, or ten, or a hundred in any crack, opening or orifice that is accessible to you while I am dancing in the cage.

Seriously guys...
Now that I am unemployed I need to take the money where I can get it. Even if it means pulling it our of my ass on Sunday morning. I'm not too proud to beg. My dog Cynder needs a liver transplant and my poor reproductively challenged birds just tweet and flitter around their sad, old cage all day and night wondering where there next meal is coming from. I think I saw them draw straws to determine which one will be used for food when the real thing finally runs out. Damn, I really liked that yellow canary.
So think of me Saturday night, as I trudge the 15 miles through 4 feet of snow to get to the...
Ummm... I mean, so think of me on Saturday night, as walk the 15 miles through the scorching, South Florida heat, to arrive at the Ramrod, exhausted and weak, drag my, still recovering from surgery, self up into the cage, and start grinding my poor, old, beaten up body for tips so that I can eat and survive another day in this harsh, cruel world.

Too much?
OK... so how about this.

It would be AWESOME to see you guys out this Saturday night at the RAMROD bar in Fort Lauderdale for the first anniversary of their very popular PIG DANCE. Stop by the cage and say "Hi" and I promise I'll say "Hi" back. I would be totally grateful if you would grope me inappropriately and stick a few bucks in my jock. It's not necessary, of course, but it really would put a smile on my face and some food on my plate.

Better?

13 comments:

Jambrea said...

lol Great advertisment. :)

I hope you get tons of gropes and bucks.

Pick said...

Either version works for me you poor pitiful creature you. ;o{)

I *know* you'll get tons of gropes and plenty of cash placed in fun places.

Sue said...

Shame I can't be there! I'd be sure to stuff something into your crack! LOL! Keep smiling and I am sure the gods will provide!

Patric said...

Wear a jockstrap...we are coming with 10 rolls of quarters!

Stan said...

Sorry I can't be there to slip you a few bucks too Nick. There's a little matter of 1200 miles that separate me from Ft. Lauderdale. Good Luck tommorrow night!

jp said...

When you're in SF I can think of a way for you to make sever hundred $ for a couple hours of your time... ;-)
jpcolter at yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Whoohoo! Go for it, Nick. Shake, shimmy, rattle and roll that bod of yours until management has to supply you with a big bucket to hold all your money!

Best of luck with your soiree!

Ontario Moggy

avis said...

Hi, Nick! I saw your picture in an old BEAR PARTY MAGAZINE and thought that you are hotter than hell physically but I can also see on your BLOG that you are a very caring and compassionate person. I do hope that things go well for you, your dog Cynder, and your birds. And, if and when you come back to San Francisco again (and hopefully for THE FOLSOM STREET FAIR, which will be soon, if you have a chance stop by THE LONE STAR which is one block south of Folsom and proceed to the bar's back patio. I'll be there doing Tarot Readings and I'd be glad to make your acquaintance.

/ams

avis said...

Hi, Nick! Hope all is well with you today. You and I may not be getting any younger, but I can say this honestly and with total truth -- we DO know how to take care of ourselves! I do hope you're able to come to SF for THE FOLSOM STREET FAIR, and I also hope that you'll have time to stop by THE LONE STAR. I'd love to meet you and/or give you a Reading. I've been doing these there since the early 1990's and have established quite a clientele. and, I am serious about what I said to you in your BLOG. Pleasee take care and have a nice LABOR DAY WEEKEND!

/ams

Tom Gaylord said...

If only I were closer to this cage, I'm in Ireland:(

avis said...

Hi, Nick! Hope all is well. What kind of surgery did you have?

avis said...

I hope the Fort Lauderdale event went well for you.

FLLWrldTrvle said...

Sorry to just learn about your job. It sucks everwhere. The company I work for (think elctric toothbrushes, LCD TV's and LED Light Bulbs... oh and we sell the worlds most expensive his and hers vibrators - and the Bodygroom ... go to www.shaveeverywhere.com - I have been lucky to keep my job. Said company has laid off approx 40% of its workforce in the past year. Hope I don't get into the cuts in December.

Regardless, I was with my two boyfriends on an Atlantis cruise at your last Pig Dance. How about giving us a heads up a few weeks out if possible. I love stuffing money into your crotch!

Rod Oakland PArk