LONG POST... but there's nudity and cum videos so hang in there!
Here's the whine:
Life has been so busy lately with surgeries, physical therapy, work, TONS of medical bills, and some emotional distress and depression. I've kind of lost myself a little bit. I've been doing what I can to keep balance and piece in my life but it's not always easy. My meditation classes are on vacation for the summer and I haven't been able to find an alternate one. My church is also not offering much besides their Sunday service. So I've pulled things back. Made life simpler. Taking some "me" time.
My "real" job is out of control for the past year since they layed off 2/3rds the staff. And most of the people who are left act like animals. Fighting, backstabbing, trying to steal any spotlight they can. It sucks.
My heart is still mending from the recent hurt it received. I didn't really blog about it out of respect and not wanting to sound like a whiny fool. Still trying to make sense of it. I don't think I've ever been treated so badly by someone when my intentions were pure. I didn't ask for anything back except respect. I didn't get that. What I did get was betrayal, abuse and disrespect. And still I loved the fucker. Even after round 15 of abuse I still continued to try to help him and put his best interests before my pride or my needs. I just wanted to see him happy. I can hold my head high when I think of this, even if my heart sinks so low that it feels like it's dragging me down. Even though I cringe every time I see the dent in my truck door or think of my birthday night or so many other nights where I went home crying, or my surgeries, pain and recovery that went ignored. Trying to let it go. I'd like to think that he gave what he was capable of and really did care, even if it didn't seem like that. I would still be there in a second if he needed me to help him for anything. I guess if it didn't mean anything it wouldn't hurt. I guess I should be glad I still have the ability to love. And hopefully next time I'll feel love coming back to me.
I guess since I've pulled back and started focusing more on me, feelings come up. Good and bad ones. It's good to deal with them. Not easy... but good. I have so many good things in my life and I've been taking the time to appreciate that. And you guys have been great to me. Always. You have no idea how much it means to me and what a great help it's been when I'm depressed, sad or lonely. I'm not one to wallow in self pity or sorrow. Feel the emotions. Analyze where and why they are there. Learn from them. Move on to what is going to make your life happy. That's the way I handle things.
So it's time to move on to what makes me happy. That includes my upcoming vacation to P-town! I had booked it almost a year ago but was going to cancel it due to the surgeries and bills. But I already paid for half of it and my ex is going to come up a couple of days after I get there and share the costs. And... I REALLY NEED A VACATION! A whole week of bike riding, BBQ's with friends, fun shows, dancing, art galleries and the gym. And SPIRITUS PIZZA!!! And STEAMERS!!! I've never been to Carnival Week in P-town and I'm really looking forward to it. The countdown begins... I week away!
Here's the cheese:
After my first "real" workout I had to check out the body. Damn I feel skinny! Well, at least my dick didn't loose any muscle mass! LOL
Here's the cum:
Hey... it's Friday. Here's a load to carry everyone through the weekend.
Have a GREAT weekend everyone!!!
13 comments:
thanks for the whine chesse and cum you are the best. Enjoy P-Town hey stop and spend a few days in NYC take in the gym the bar and a bway show my treat
Have fun in P-town next week! I need to get back up there too if it were not for the lack of $$$ I would. Thanks for showing your handsome face this time in the J/O vid! It adds a whole lot to it for me.
In any case it sounds like your handling your emotional and physical pain very well Nick. Keep it up....uh...that too!
Nick ... thanks for having the guts to share some of your vulnerabilities with us. Sometimes it's nice to know that HOT guys go through life's unpleasant parts too. I'm very sorry to hear there's still residual pain from that relationship.
Abuse and disrespect ... at least you can get angry about and let the anger work them out. Betrayal ... is harder. It just plain hurts and it's one of those things that only time heals, and even time doesn't ever completely erase it.
Even from a distance, it's easy to see you're a good, caring, lovely guy. Take heart in that and love yourself. Yeah, we're all "in love" with Nick Moretti but I think we all really care far more about the guy behind the porn star. That Richard guy. You know the one I mean.
Dent in truck? Did I know about this? You or him? Shit!
Have a great time in P-town ... you driving? Ya know that's more than half-way to NS right? LOL
Thanks for the vids ... the first one is hot in it's cuteness and the second one is just downright HOT!
Cheers and be well!
That wasn't so long. People are used to Twitting and Twatting, and you see what happened with THAT yesterday. I prefer meat rather than bones. Well, some bones are very nice... (present company included)
Hugs! And thanks for sharing the cheese and cum as well.
Thanks for sharing Nick I enjoyed reading every word. I loved the video you look so good. Were is P-town? I only can think of one place and Im living there put every place that starts with a P call it P-town.
First of all, I can't imagine that anyone could ever be mean to you! But there are a lot of kooks out there in this big wide world. Just try to look at your ex that way - he would have to be crazy to do you wrong after you have been so straight up and loving back to him. You deserve so much better!!! Well, at least sanity!
Secondly, why do you need a class to meditate? I do it and have never been to a class. Try practicing on your own and see what happens.
It must be a zoo at work with all those layoffs. I know that it is a very hard time at places that do that. I went through one in a good economy when folks went out and got another job. But in this economy they must feel they are losing their very livelyhood! At least you are still there. Keep doing whatever you are doing and hope you are okay.
I really like your hair the color and cut it is; it goes so well with your face and features. I wish I could say it a bit more eloquently, but it really looks quite nice.
I know you got smaller, but I can't tell the difference. You are just so hot!
GASP - Wish my mouth had been around that cock for the money shot - HOT!:)
Nick,
I'm so sorry to here about the abuse you got from your ex. I once heard that pain is the absence of love. You gave it but it wasn't returned. Unfortuanately, there are lot of people in this world like that.
A word of advice, sex is not the relationship and the relationship is not about sex. My 'hubby' took four years to die from liver failure from drinking too much and the last 1.5 years his cocked didn't work at all!
It always upsetted him but I fell in love with the guy not the sex. Sex is the icing on the cake and if it's there then great but if not, so what, it's the person I fell in love with not the great fucking we did and we did indeed!
I encourage you on your meditation. You don't need classes to do it. One thing you can try though is if you really get into a deep trance, you will have an OBE (out of body experience) I've done it almost three times. The first I quit too early because I didn't know what was happening. The second, one of my guardian angels pushed me back in.(DAMIN IT! Very very long story don't ask.) The third, well let's just my dead 'hubby' found me and was trying to help pull me out. Oooh it's soooo hard and failed at it. Damn, guess I stuck waiting for another dream visit. Then again, getting yanked into heaven for a party for the recently deceased was rather strange not to mention that he said I'm going to 'be dead in a few short years'. Just like him to say that.
And where is p-town? If your ever in the Detroit area look me up.
I'm sorry about the troubles you've been through. Trust me when I say that life gets better. Even though he hurt you, your heart was in the right place. You meant well and it isn't your fault that he can't appreciate you and treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. He's just a fuckwit. He can't help himself, but you can help yourself by staying the hell away.
Please, if you ever doubt yourself or your ability to get through it all come see me. I'll be happy to remind you of just how much you've gone through & how far you've come, all on your own.
I know it is a drive, but there is a Buddhist centre in Miami that offers mediation classes. As for churchin'...I may have mentioned I was an ordained minister. I'd be happy to baptize you, sermonize you...or anoint you with special sauce...your choice!
As for those videos...well, I'm still jealous of all that spurting. I love the first video! Nice to see you being silly & having fun.
Good vibes to you, Nick.
ive read some of you blog and you seem like a very genuine guy-take time to apprecciate what you have-i cant for onr go out have fun like you do-family-alwaya gotta have security with me-i cant just be out and be free so enjoy that-yes you might have to wrok hard but you have freedom so id take being poor with personal freedon than having everything and living behind gates secluded away from the world-you have a real life-im jealous of you-i just have my pets and nothing else-i could buy anythihg i want but who would i share it with-im in my own prison-enjoy your life-be thankful you have friends and have fun
Now that was a blog post!
I'm so sorry to learn of the bad experiences with the ex, but I know you'll forge ahead and move beyond that drama.
As for the cum -- wow, I really am behind in my blog reading, because it seems you've been entertaining your readers with some very nice videos lately!
Have fun in P-town, love.
--Tom
You seem really, sincerely quite nice (anyone who's nice to animals...well, it's always a good indicator of character).
We talked about the nature of turbulant relationships at work today (professional ones but this still rings true)...when you've had a couple of these types of relationships you start thinking they're normal...then, one day, you DO find a better relationship and realize you can have better and you DO deserve better :) Really enjoying the blog.
And, YEAH, the vids were HOT...not gonna lie :)
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